Friday, May 13, 2016

Magpapa-parlor Ako!!!

2009 pa noong huli akong nagpa-parlor. Yes, I cut my own hair. Pati buhok ng mga anak ko saka ng bunso kong kapatid (nung minsang pumayag siya). Pero nung last birthday ko, niregaluhan ako ng package na ito ng boss ko --- scroll down, please. Akala ko yung Brazilian yung kakalbuhin ang pechay ko. Hindi naman pala, makabagong teknolohiya ng kakikayan pala yun.

Anyways, for the first time in 35 years, masasabi ko ang shoshyal na linyang ito: May appointment ako sa parlor! Dahil diyan, may bago na ring salita na naimbento ang asawa ko. Ang tagalog daw ng parlor ay "PAUNATAN." So bukas ay pupunta ako sa PAUNATAN. Sa Queen's Lair Beauty Salon sa Makati. Kinakabahan ako. Babalitaan ko kayong lahat kung anong mangyayari, kahit ayaw niyo.

Mga, 5-6 hours daw ang uubusin para sa rebond (baka 2 days sa akin). Kaya magdadala ako ng mga libro, yey! Matatapos ko na malaman ang "In Sisterhood - Lea at Lualhati" ni Lualhati Bautista at masisimulan na ang "Bossypants" ni Tina Fey. Exciting!!!


From Metrodeal


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Thursday, May 12, 2016

Leni @ 15%

Hindi ako masyadong magaling sa math, pero matiyaga ako sa mano-mano. At wala akong EQ, alam niyo yan. So ito... Ayon sa balita, inaasahang may 1.5M votes pa ang hindi nabibilang.

Kung susumahin ang pagitan ng scores ni Leni at BBM sa ngayon, ang lamang ni Leni ay 225,262 which is... 15% ng 1.5M. So ibig sabihin... and please feel free to try... kung anuman ang resulta, basta <=15% of 1.5M lang ang maging lamang ni BBM kay Leni, ayus na ang buto-buto.. 

Tingnan... at pakidouble check na rin.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I am a 3M Awardee!

Image Source: Here

3M Representative:
Mrs. YummyliciousLady, you have been chosen to be this year's 3M awardee. This is a prestigious award, only given to the most deserving Most Mediocre Mother (3M) in the universe. You are now more popular than the reigning Ms. Universe. How do you feel about this?


I want to beat someone up. But I can't go to jail. So be thankful, be very thankful. Obviously, it took years of hard work to be here.

3M Representative:
Funny how you mentioned "hard work." All of our awardees are working moms. It seems like employed mothers have an unfair advantage.


You bet we do. Am I supposed to be proud of it?

3M Representative:
Sorry, sorry, I don't mean it that way. Let's start talking about your motherhood career. When did you become a mother and to how many kids?

I've always believed that having kids is just one - a biological - definition of motherhood. Even when you don't host a fetus in your uterus, you can be a mother. Motherhood is really about creation and the desire to nurture. You do that even with ideas, art, poetry, people you choose to support for different reasons. I have been a mother from the time that I knew how to think, speak and act for myself.

3M Representative:
It seems to me that you have a penchant for word play. But please answer the questions. When did you become a mother and to how many kids?

Ok, fine. Biologically. 2009 to my eldest daughter who is now 7 years old. And again in 2014, to my son who just recently turned 2.

3M Representative:
Thank you, two kids. Wow. And do you take care of them?

During my maternity leave, after they were born, yes. That's only 68 calendar days in the Philippines. But because I have to work, we have to delegate care giving responsibilities to my family and nannies during weekdays. On weekends and during holidays, my husband and I take care of them.

3M Representative:
So roughly twice a week in 52 weeks are you mommy days. Do you think that's the reason why you were chosen to be the 3M awardee?

Maybe? I don't know what are your organization's criteria for selection.

3M Representative:
Oh, I can share the scores with you. Do you want to dispute your award?

I don't know if that's worth my time and energy. I do want to question why, somehow, I agree that I am a mediocre mother. Because if the reason why I'm here is because I am a working mother and by the amount of time that I am taking care of my kids, then there is something wrong about all of this. Feudal and wrong.

3M Representative:
How so?

Because times have changed and not all families can afford to survive on just one parent's income. I work to help give my children a life filled with opportunities and possibilities. And I have a career because, aside from IT being a financial enabler, I have skills, talents and interests that should be put to good use to make me feel complete.

3M Representative:
Are you saying that motherhood makes you feel incomplete?

Of course not! Not at all.

3M Representative:
Then why do you need a career?

Because aside from being a mother... no let me correct myself. Because I am not only a mother. I am many things.I am a daughter, a wife, a lover, a friend, an aspiring writer, a rabid and compulsive blogger, a gardener, a cook, a Filipino. Do you have all day for more?

3M Representative:
That's ok. I see what you mean. So how would you describe yourself given your situation?

I am a fulfilled woman, challenged on a daily/hourly basis to be creative in meeting the demands of my many roles in life.

3M Representative:
And as a mother?

I am perpetually learning. To be at peace with my realities and limitations. To be happy and live by the grace of everyday. To find meaning in every experience. To accept that motherhood is not a series of tests that one can ace just by being diligent.

3M Representative:
Any words of wisdom for prospective 3M awardees?

Fuck the title. Stop caring about titles. Stop competing with other mothers. Remember that motherhood is all about unconditional love that translates to nurturing thoughts, words and actions. Stripped of all standards passed on from one generation of mothers to the next, it is enough that you have decided to love your creation (be it poems or kids) for a lifetime. And be kind to yourself. Write, dance, cook, fight, do whatever you like. Do not let other parts of you die in hopes that the sacrifice will make you great at motherhood. Your kids will thank you for it. Also... your children were not given to you to fix your broken dreams. As Kahlil Gibran so rightfully put, "your children are not your children, they are the children of life."

3M Representative:
Thank you, YummyliciousLady. I don't want to say congratulations because it is clear to me that you don't like the award. I just want to say, soldier on, most mediocre mother! 
And that I am going to quit this job now.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

On Plan B

In response to his hallucination: "The senator earlier accused the administration of creating a plan that would make Robredo appear to be leading in surveys to justify her win. If she is elected vice president, impeachment proceedings will be carried out against Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, who is poised to become the country’s next President. If Robredo replaces Duterte, the Liberal Party will regain control of the government."

Jollibee image is from here.

WANTED TEXTMATE 0975-843-7009

Dapat noon ko pa pinost ito e. Nakalimutan ko lang. Ilang beses ko natanggap ang text message na ito mula sa parehong mobile number. Marami sigurong desperado sa textmate na nag-akalang si Bongbong ang katext nila. Ayan tuloy.


Paano kaya nakuha nila Bongbong Marcos, Martin Romualdez, Greco Beljica at Valdepenas ang cellphone number ko? Hindi naman ako sikat. At paaano nila naisip na ikabit ang "Mamasapano" sa pangalan ng tao na parang "Eseng Ng Tondo" lang ang dating. Sana mas maging bobo pa ang mga botante para maisip nila na si General Valdepenas ang utak ng masakare sa Mamasapano.

Presidente Na Si Dugong?

Duterte It Is

We cannot fight the math. We have a new president.

I can see why the people chose Digong. He is seen as the radical change that has been missing in the Philippines' political landscape for a long time. I wanted him to be my president too, back when he was still not sure about pursuing the highest seat in the land.

A study of nations revealed that certain cultures (and historical profile) work best with certain leadership styles and forms of government. The perfect matches derived from this study explains why we are where we are and what we are as a people. It said that a country like the Philippines, with a rich experience in being a colony, will not flourish in democracy. We need a Lee Kuan Yew. And Duterte was the closest bet.

But then he started talking about women, and Australia, and the differently abled, and trains in exchange of islands. I questioned my conviction. And voted for Miriam.

None of these matter now. He will be our president. And as in previous years and administrations, let us continue NOT TO CARE. Let us continue to live with honor, dignity, integrity and simplicity. Let us work hard to not have to depend on the government for anything. Let's own our future and make great leaps toward our dreams. Duterte cannot make anything happen for us. No president will.

And you, Mr. President, you are accountable for numbers that only you and your cohorts can manage. GNP, GDP, Inflation Rate, CPP-NPA? Focus, Sir. Focus. Stop thinking about the jet ski ride. Stop thinking about who you want to cut ties with. Just get working. And don't give tax discounts to others if it means additional taxes for others. Not fair.

Hmmm... Finally, please don't suck too much. I actually like it here. In the Philippines. And we may be pushed to leave if you (and your VP, God forbid that it's BBM) start to bring in the crazy.