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3M Representative:
Mrs. YummyliciousLady, you have been chosen to be this year's 3M awardee. This is a prestigious award, only given to the most deserving Most Mediocre Mother (3M) in the universe. You are now more popular than the reigning Ms. Universe. How do you feel about this?
YummyliciousLady:
I want to beat someone up. But I can't go to jail. So be thankful, be very thankful. Obviously, it took years of hard work to be here.
3M Representative:
Funny how you mentioned "hard work." All of our awardees are working moms. It seems like employed mothers have an unfair advantage.
YummyliciousLady:
You bet we do. Am I supposed to be proud of it?
3M Representative:
Sorry, sorry, I don't mean it that way. Let's start talking about your motherhood career. When did you become a mother and to how many kids?
YummyliciousLady:
I've always believed that having kids is just one - a biological - definition of motherhood. Even when you don't host a fetus in your uterus, you can be a mother. Motherhood is really about creation and the desire to nurture. You do that even with ideas, art, poetry, people you choose to support for different reasons. I have been a mother from the time that I knew how to think, speak and act for myself.
3M Representative:
It seems to me that you have a penchant for word play. But please answer the questions. When did you become a mother and to how many kids?
YummyliciousLady:
Ok, fine. Biologically. 2009 to my eldest daughter who is now 7 years old. And again in 2014, to my son who just recently turned 2.
3M Representative:
Thank you, two kids. Wow. And do you take care of them?
YummyliciousLady:
During my maternity leave, after they were born, yes. That's only 68 calendar days in the Philippines. But because I have to work, we have to delegate care giving responsibilities to my family and nannies during weekdays. On weekends and during holidays, my husband and I take care of them.
3M Representative:
So roughly twice a week in 52 weeks are you mommy days. Do you think that's the reason why you were chosen to be the 3M awardee?
YummyliciousLady:
Maybe? I don't know what are your organization's criteria for selection.
3M Representative:
Oh, I can share the scores with you. Do you want to dispute your award?
YummyliciousLady:
I don't know if that's worth my time and energy. I do want to question why, somehow, I agree that I am a mediocre mother. Because if the reason why I'm here is because I am a working mother and by the amount of time that I am taking care of my kids, then there is something wrong about all of this. Feudal and wrong.
3M Representative:
How so?
YummyliciousLady:
Because times have changed and not all families can afford to survive on just one parent's income. I work to help give my children a life filled with opportunities and possibilities. And I have a career because, aside from IT being a financial enabler, I have skills, talents and interests that should be put to good use to make me feel complete.
Are you saying that motherhood makes you feel incomplete?
YummyliciousLady:
Of course not! Not at all.
Then why do you need a career?
Because aside from being a mother... no let me correct myself. Because I am not only a mother. I am many things.I am a daughter, a wife, a lover, a friend, an aspiring writer, a rabid and compulsive blogger, a gardener, a cook, a Filipino. Do you have all day for more?
That's ok. I see what you mean. So how would you describe yourself given your situation?
I am a fulfilled woman, challenged on a daily/hourly basis to be creative in meeting the demands of my many roles in life.
And as a mother?
I am perpetually learning. To be at peace with my realities and limitations. To be happy and live by the grace of everyday. To find meaning in every experience. To accept that motherhood is not a series of tests that one can ace just by being diligent.
Any words of wisdom for prospective 3M awardees?
Fuck the title. Stop caring about titles. Stop competing with other mothers. Remember that motherhood is all about unconditional love that translates to nurturing thoughts, words and actions. Stripped of all standards passed on from one generation of mothers to the next, it is enough that you have decided to love your creation (be it poems or kids) for a lifetime. And be kind to yourself. Write, dance, cook, fight, do whatever you like. Do not let other parts of you die in hopes that the sacrifice will make you great at motherhood. Your kids will thank you for it. Also... your children were not given to you to fix your broken dreams. As Kahlil Gibran so rightfully put, "your children are not your children, they are the children of life."
3M Representative:
Thank you, YummyliciousLady. I don't want to say congratulations because it is clear to me that you don't like the award. I just want to say, soldier on, most mediocre mother!
And that I am going to quit this job now.
3M Representative:
YummyliciousLady:
Of course not! Not at all.
3M Representative:
YummyliciousLady:
3M Representative:
YummyliciousLady:
3M Representative:
YummyliciousLady:
3M Representative:
YummyliciousLady:
3M Representative:
Thank you, YummyliciousLady. I don't want to say congratulations because it is clear to me that you don't like the award. I just want to say, soldier on, most mediocre mother!
And that I am going to quit this job now.
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