Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Sweet, Sour and Salty

The theme of my womanhood in 2016 was, and continues to be, "disliking my evolution." And it's anchored on my feeling of alienation from the "me" that my husband liked in the late 90s. And how the new woman-mom, I feel, has not been able to cope with the hyper-development of my former boyfriend.

I am threatened by the nagging feeling that I am no longer the interesting, angst-ridden, opinionated, well-read, news junkie, who had a lot of things to say about politics and feminism.

I don't know how or why, but I've always felt that it's my brand of crazy that caught his fancy. I try, and try, and try. But I really don't feel any special connection with the stock market, or backpacking in Europe, or reading the news (anymore). Ang hirap magpa-charming. Tapos ang dami dami ko pang character flaws.

So everyday I am just thankful that I, would love to think, have not yet been replaced. I know, that's such an anti-women thing to say but it's how I really feel. I am so blessed to have married the love of my life. Huwag lang sanang ma-bore sa akin nang bonggang bongga habang kinakapa ko pa kung paano mahalin itong matander na version ko.

Happy 8th, my love. Pramis, maliligo na ako lagi kahit walang pasok para di ako amoy kabiguan.

1 comment :

  1. You know iha, ang love e nageevolve rin. Put your faith in your husband's love for you. Ang husband ko nagstray na marami beses pero I held on. Maswerte ka iha di nambababae yung iyo. Alam mo ba masakit rin sa mga lalake kapag pinagdududahan mo ang capability nila na mahalin ka quesejodang di ka naliligo?