I live by one simple rule when it comes to sharing opinions or giving advice: WAIT TO BE ASKED. Maybe this is the reason why I find it very disrespectful and offensive when KIA Mommas capitalize on every opportunity to tell me what to do. Don't get me wrong. I believe in the value of having mentors. I have lots and lots of people that I run to for help, advice and inspiration. They come in different shapes and sizes, age ranges, locations and disciplines. I know when and how to ask for help. There is is only one place in my system for unsolicited advice. Scientists call it The Excretory System.
More often than not, I try and give these Class A Mothers the benefit of the doubt. They just care too much. They want to help. But then it all goes back to my personal yardstick of caring words and behaviors. If someone I care about shares that he/she is experiencing challenges, I would empathize and ask how the person is doing. I would offer a listening ear and a helping hand with a big disclaimer: only if you want to...
I want to put a list of sample behaviors and words that I experienced from KIA Mommas. But this blog, unfortunately, is accessible to a lot of them. They would know they just landed on one of my posts. And unlike them, I am sensitive to causing anyone pain and shame, especially in public. So let this post be as cryptic as it can possibly get. Now that I've said everything there is to my "bullying" experiences from these supposedly better mothers, I am just going to dedicate a statement from this article to all the KIA Mommas in my real and cyber life.
"I seriously cannot understand these women for the life of me. I mean, let’s be honest. None of us really knows what the hell we’re doing with this whole parenting gig, do we? Aren’t we all just making this crap up as we go along? I can’t imagine having the audacity to tell another mom that what I’m doing is better than what she is doing. Quite frankly, what works for me is not necessarily gonna work for her. And don’t we get beaten up enough by our own kids on a daily basis? Do we really need to beat each other up too? I say different strokes for different folks. Let’s be glad we’re not all exactly alike and support each other instead. Plus, that way we can be on the lookout for the stubborn “know it all” mom and take that bitch down as a united front!"
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