Nakakabaliw na pagnanasa sa Jolly Spaghetti

May Jolly Spaghetti sa bahay namin kahapon pero hindi nila ako binigyan. Hindi maalis sa isip ko ang kalungkutan na ito na dulot ng pagkain. Kaya kaninang mga alas tres ng madaling araw, sinuong ko ang malakas na ulan para rito ---

Yes, akin lahat yan. Dalawa't kalahating order ng spaghetti, isang cheeseburger, at saka isang pirasong manok na barkada nung isang spaghetti.

Hindi naman ganito karami ang dapat na bibilhin ko kaso naisip ko, susugod na rin lang ako sa ulan, e di sagarin ko na.

Grabe guysh, ang sarap. Nangilid ang luha ko sa una, pangalawa, pangatlo... actually sa lahat ng subo.

O, yung mga may issue sa fast food diyan. Ang advice ko sa inyo, kung ayaw niyo kumain ng ganitong klaseng pagkain, e di huwag. Pero huwag na kayong mandamay ng iba. 

Week #08

This is Opsling now according to BabyCenter.

Other websites say that at 8 weeks, the baby is as big as a raspberry. So you will see my phone's wallpaper of the week below. Don't anyone say: "you're having that many babies?"

As for me... The past few days were days of me just wanting to sleep the day away, to sleep some more at night.

• Pregnant Metaphor: I'm still a walking fart and pee machine
• Dominant Feeling: Always tired, always sleepy. So weak, my thought bubble during my walks to and from work has consistently been "am I there yet? am I there yet? am I there yet? am I there yet? am I there yet?"
• Crazy Smells I smelled: Dog and cat poop inside the bedroom. We don't have any pets.
• (Fulfilled) Intense food craving/s: craved luncheon meat (MaLing FTW!), triggered by EDV saying they're having Ma-Ling for breakfast; also... danggit
• (Unfulfilled) Intense food cravings: Filipino-style Chicken Macaroni Salad, Tinolang Tahong, Fish Bistek
• Number of people I screamed at: One adult, Two kids

146 Beats Per Minute

One of the most difficult phases of pregnancy for me is the two-week (not the other two-week wait when you're trying to find out if you are pregnant) wait for The precious heartbeat. And for this, I really have no one else to blame but my low to non-existent EQ. Atat kasi ako. In all my pregnancies, I'd find out, I'd tell the hubby, we'd go to the OB, we'd go in for the first ultrasound, we'd see no baby. Gestational sac pa lang kasi maaga pa. This will be followed by two weeks of anxiety for me. For this pregnancy, binalakubak ako towards the end of the two-week wait.

The thing is, you cannot unhear sad stories. I've heard other moms talk about blighted ovum, I've seen some of them up close, in tears. I've read, watched, listened to, one too many fertility journeys. I've lost a niece (or a nephew) to this cruel concept of false pregnancy. Some wounds are not personally yours, yet you bleed every single time you think about the wounded.

Wherever you are in your baby journey, I wish you all the best. I sincerely look forward to seeing you one day in mommy groups, being an annoying know-it-all and judgy mom to all of us who can't quit decaf while we're pregnant. I will not bite your head off, I promise I won't. Because I made a wish for us to be connected in this cool 'hood.

I wish you could send love and light my way too. For Opsling. Who now has a heartbeat. 💓