(Lost) Art of Gift-Giving

Two Saturdays ago, I learned the sad truth about gift registries. All this time, I thought this was how it worked: to avoid duplicates, all invited guests will register the gifts they purchased from the shop/mall. The compiled list will be used by all guests as reference.

Then I found out that the celebrant (enough arguing about usage of "celebrator" vs. "celebrant") actually chooses the things he/she likes and the mall/shop compiles the list for the guests. The guests will then need to pick their gifts from the list.

I love giving and/or receiving gifts, especially hand-made ones. This concept of setting up a gift registry for any special event makes me very very very sad for three reasons.

First, it makes a business out of the art of gift-giving. Yes, people have materialistic needs that they need to fulfill. Yes, there are talented (born) lousy gift-givers. But these truths makes the act of buying/receiving a gift special. Having a registry makes a glorified shopping day out of a special occasion. It also kills the creativity and passion of those (like me) who love to personalize or make, not purchase, gifts.

Second, it eliminates the element of surprise. Gifts won't be traditionally wrapped if the purpose of giving them is to have an inventory of gifts listed against gifts received at the end of a day of celebration. The premise of predictability, in this regard, is just not right.

Third, and I have children in mind, it teaches the wrong life lesson. Every day in life is like a gift. When you open your eyes, you don't know yet how the day will be like. You can plan all you want, which is great, but there are things, people and circumstances which will always be bigger than you. If I raise my kid in a world where every birthday means a gift registry, I am indirectly teaching her that she can always get what she wants... just make a perfect list, hate those that don't follow the list, don't invite them in future birthdays, etc. I cringe at the remote possibility.

I dunno. I don't even know how to end this entry.

It's just so sad.

P.S. Blog entries, for me, are gifts for me (and sometimes for the imaginary reader). If I edit, I feel that I'm giving a gift I chose from the registry list. So most, if not all, my entries are un-edited. :)