Introverts say hello

Earthquakes are not to be taken lightly. But when I first saw this icon, it took me back to frightening memories of me meeting people for the first time.

Fragile Little Things

...that happened since my last post.

Feb-17: Our 17th Boyfriend-Girlfriend Anniversary
Feb-17 to Feb-19: Anniversary Getaway --- Cancelled because...
Feb-18 to Feb-26: Atlanta Business Trip
Mar-04 to Mar-05: Tagaytay Trip - Despedida event for Josie
Mar-15 to Mar-15: Turned a year older
Mar-19 to Mar-21: Singapore Business Trip
Mar-18 to Mar-23: Anniversary Getaway in Singapore --- Cancelled because we're poor
Mar-19: Josie's flight to Bangkok

It's all bittersweet, with new experiences painted over different shades of sadness. I am blessed, I am happy, I am sad, I am counting my blessings. But truth be told, most days from the last post had me worrying that I may just die of overstimulation. I am exhausted from trying to stand still in the middle of this cruel vortex that I made for myself. But we are all tired and we're all in this together. That makes me feel good about myself and all these fragile little things.


I knew it. With faith, dragons can be real.

My Sister Needs Help

My sister set this up in GoGetFunding today. My brother-in-law was diagnosed of stage 3 cancer yesterday and we need all the help and kindness in the world to support his recovery. I know I only have 12 seasonal readers but if you can spread the word, the 12 may become 12,000 by the sheer power of faith.

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Help Us Grow Old Together

https://gogetfunding.com/help-us-grow-old-together/

We were highschool sweethearts. At 17, we ran away together but ended up coming back home because we couldn't make it out there. Fast forward some more years. We are now husband and wife and parents to two beautiful cats and one rowdy dog. We got our first car last year and got the key to our new home.

Today, we confirmed that Cezar has cancer.

We're still waiting for the specifics but our ENT surgeon said biopsy confirmed the mass under his right eye is malignant, we just don't know what type of cancer yet.

We have already sold our house and loaned a large amount from my husband's employer. The car will have to go soon, too. We have worked hard all these years to be independent and to at least invest our money where it wouldn't waste away with the years. Now, whatever we have left, we are still in the process of letting go to be able to raise funds for his treatment.

His last surgery was done to at least rid him of some of the pain that the mass is causing him (cancer is making his teeth loose and causing a lot of pain). It was tagged as a dental procedure and HMO covered nothing. With a cancer diagnosis his HMO will cover everything but his maximum benefit limit will not even be enough to pay for the surgeon's professional fee.

Cezar will need a maxillectomy where the doctors will remove a large part of his upper right jaw bone and possibly his right eye. Depending on how successful the operation will be, he would have to undergo radiation and chemotherapy.

Cezar is the love of my life. When we got married, we promised each other forever. We said we'd stay together until we're both old and gray. We are still dreaming of having kids someday and I hope we can keep our promise of growing old together to each other.

I'm asking for your help so we can have Cezar's surgery scheduled as soon as possible. I am also asking you to please remember us the next time you pray.

For the past 14 years, Cezar has been my rock and he has taken care of me like no one ever has. I intend to return the favor and make sure that he's taken care of.

We would be eternally grateful for any help you may be able to extend our way.

Please help us fight for his life. Please help us fight for our love. Please say a little prayer for us and our families as we go through this difficult time.

[January 2017] Imelda Marcos: The Verdict

Thank you for the reminders and harrowing details, Mrs. Pedrosa.


Imelda Marcos: The Verdict
by Carmen Navarro Pedrosa

Decisions, Decisions, Lagi na lang!

Sa bawat segundo ng buhay ko, lagi na lang akong kailangang gumawa ng desisyon. I'm sure kayo rin naman. Ang kaibahan lang natin, blog ko ito kaya ako ang nagkukuwento. And you will read on and on and on because I said so. Harhar! Peace tayo, biro lang. Basahin mo please. I write for the betterment of my self esteem and this is all that I have. Maawa ka na, wag mo akong iwan. Charot!

Hemingways, nagdesisyon akong mag-me time sa newest favorite spot ko kanina. Pampabawas negatrons sa sistema, pang-refresh, pampakalma, pang-renew ng faith sa kabutihan at sangkatauhan. Pero kailangan ko na umuwi at mag-impake dahil maaga ang biyahe bukas para sa isang work-related, offsite, three-day event. E umulan. Ayan, sinasabi ko na nga bang hindi dapat mawalay sa akin ang higanteng knapsack ko e. Wala tuloy akong payong. Kasalanan ko kasi pinanaig ko ang kapekpekan kanina para magmukhang presentable. Ang dala ko tuloy na bag ay isang maliit na woman human bag. Seriously ladies, how do you survive?

So ito ang itsura ng utak ko habang nagmumuni-muni. Director's cut ang flow na ito, hindi ako nage-edit. Hindi ko pa alam sa paragraph na ito kung ano ang gagawin ko.

-Kailangan ko na umuwi pero hindi puwedeng mabasa ang bago kong sapatos na compliant sa dress code ng conference. Ay, thank you pala sa boss ko na pinagtiyagaan akong i-coach sa definition ng resort chic.

-Puwede kong iplastic ang paa ko at maglakad sa ulan pero wala akong payong, mababasa ang mga gamit ko. Kaso, san naman ako kukuha ng plastic bags sa ganitong oras?

-Puwede ako bumili ng payong pero kulang ang pera ko. May ATM across the street pero basa na rin ako bago pa makarating. Bakit pa ako gagastos ng P200?

-Puwede ako magpasundo kay Sir_Ko pero may sakit siya. Hindi siya puwedeng maulanan at malamigan.

-"Heto akoooo, basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan, walang makakapitan."

-Dito na lang ako. Mauubos din naman ang ulan. Babae nga, natutuyo. Langit pa. Langit lang yan!

-Joke lang Baby Jeezas. I didn't mean to insult your home. Pero ano nga kayang depresyon ang pagdadaanan ko pag natuyo na ako at nag-menopause? Think positive! Sisikat na ako gaya ni Madonna by then. Makakasulat din ako ng libro.

-Pero paano nga ako uuwi?

-Dapat talaga meron akong kotse. Yung kulay violet. Eh san naman ako kukuha ng pambili?

-Bakit ba ako nagtatrabaho kung di ako makabili ng payong at kotse.

-Sabagay ayus lang. Di naman ako marunong mag-drive. I have a strong feeling, hindi ako matututo niyan.

-"Buhos na ulan, aking mundo'y lunuring tuluyan."

-Masarap siguro kumain ng Andok's habang naliligo sa ulan. Yung hindi chopped, yung buong manok ang hawak ko tapos lakad lang ako nang lakad. Kaso acid rain na ang ulan ngayon, baka ikamatay ko pag humalo ang ulan sa manok na binabanatan ko.

-Kailan kaya ako mamamatay? Erase, erase, di puwede yan!

-Ayoko na isipin. Dito na lang ako.

-Ultimatum. Pag 2am na at umuulan pa rin, susugurin ko na. Basa kung basa!

-Pero sayang talaga ang P300 na pinambili ng sapatos. Kulay red pa naman.