This nasty routine

Must STOP.

1. Post blog entry for the day (with net surfing)
2. Process work emails
3. Work
4. Watch FRIENDS
5. Repeat 1-4 when I wake up in the middle of my "night"

This is what I should be doing after shift:

1. Post blog entry for the day
2. Shut down laptop
3. Read book

And I start today with this chick lit title.


He's Just Not That Into You:
The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
Want it?

Neighbors hate me

I was feeding these babies a few minutes ago. I was getting a little worried because it seems that they are, once again, dying on me. My anxiety caused a little accident. I gave them twice the usual volume of water. Water overflowed and soon enough, neighbors downstairs started screaming and yelling.

For apartment dwellers, the fire exit is a convenient make-shift clothes drying area --- or garden for people like me. The water for my babies dripped, giving an unexpected soil-rust flavored rain for the neighbor's clothes and curtains.

After a couple of minutes of screaming and complaining, the maintenance guy knocked at our door. He delivered the first official complaint against me. I apologized, several times. Said something about accidentally pouring a lot of water. Told him to extend my apologies to the warring neighbors. He said that I may want/need to transfer the plants at the rooftop. I said sorry and promised it won't happen again.

In my head, I told him to tell the neighbors to fuck off and stop acting like whining bastards. I know, I know, I was at fault. But I love my dying plants.

And love is blind.

Developmental Pediatrician

In case there are moms out there looking for a DevPed in Makati:

Dr. Ma. Veronica Reloza, M.D.
Room 216, 2/F Tower 1A, Makati Medical Center
Contact Numbers: 8935134, 8888999 loc. 2216

We've seen her once and we appreciated the experience. She referred us to HELP for therapy and we're scheduled to see her in February (2012).

Little One - First Assessment

We're waiting for an important call. After almost three months of waiting, it seems like we're going to have our first appointment for her therapy. The search for a reputable therapy center has been tough. We hope we get this one.

I'm hoping to be able to write religiously about our "global delay" adventure. If I'm able to sustain the discipline and passion, I may be able to maintain this blog until she's old enough to read. I want her to know about this... every detail, every update... because it's the third battle she's bound to win. :)

First Battle - To be born

At 23, I was told that I will not be able to conceive the natural way. The OB GYN gave me a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist - for when I'm ready to have a child. We were never officially ready but eventually, we tried and tried. When I found out, at 27, that I was pregnant, I was the happiest woman alive. Little One, this was your first miracle.

Second Battle - Cleft Palate

The Little One was born without a cleft palate (roof of the tongue). She had to go through two major surgeries (at 6 mos and 9 mos) for cleft repair. This condition, before operations, made everyday life unique for her. Special bottles, sippy cups, way of feeding... She's a little big fighter.

Third Battle - Possible Global Delay

Little One has yet to speak. She's already 2 yo. She makes syllabic sounds but she has yet to say any word. She responds through sounds and actions. Below is the diagnosis of the Developmental Pediatrician who evaluated her condition.

Little One's tougher than mom. There's nothing she can't handle.

###

Patient Information by history:

• concern regarding speech delay, cleft palate (s/p repaired), drooling

Patient information by observation:

• good eye contact, casting, did not always follow

Patient information by examinations:

Result of Assessment using the following tests: GRIFFITHS

Developmental Domain	Estimated Age Level
Locomotor / Gross Motor	1.4 – 1.7 y.o.
Eye – Hand Coordinator / Fine Motor	1.0 – 1.3 y.o.
Hearing and Speech / Language	11 m – 1.2 y.o.
Performance / Problem Solving	11 m – 1.2 y.o.
Practical Reasoning / Comprehension	NA
Personal – Social	1.2 – 1.5 y.o.

• behaviour (tended to refuse/ throw objects) may have unduly lowered scores too

Current Working Impression:

• To consider global developmental delay
• Need to rule out locomotor apraxia
  

Recommendations:

A) Diagnostics

· (hearing test was normal)

B) Referrals

· (for ff-up with ophthalmology for "lazy eye")

C) Therapeutics

Occupational Therapy

o Locomotor coordination

o For behavioural modification, attending skills/on task behaviour, fine motor/ ADLs/ prewriting skills/ cognitive skills/ coordination, balance and strength

o HELP Therapy Center 1655 Peñafrancia Street Santiago Village Makati, 8965195

Speech Language evaluation and therapy

o Especially in light of cleft palate, drooling, for communication skills

I should have done the same

Watching this Friends' episode, where a pregnant Rachel becomes extremely emotional, unreasonable and would go ballistic over the most innocent remarks, made me regret all the effort I've put in while I was pregnant.

There were two specific situations that pissed me off back then. I wanted to scream like a banshee and throw plates at the wall. I was so close to being violent. But then I controlled myself and just went the safe route - crying and silence.

I deeply regret it because last Monday, I was confronted with the same issue (and people) but in a different situation. Back to safe route. Back to the desire to shout and break stuff.

I could have worn myself out two years ago with a perfect excuse. Can't use it now.

Little Joy, My New Workstation

I hail from a world where seat utilization is monitored, measured and managed. I'm used to sitting behind photocopiers, crowded areas and busy corridors. I'm used to sitting really close to a seatmate (max. 1 foot).

And so when I moved to my new work station, I nearly cried. :)



Thank heavens for everyone who made this happen (my boss and Facilities). I love the privacy, the space, the fact that I'm in a sweet corner, the distance (max. five steps away) from the restroom and pantry... I just love it! There's a bonus too... the station comes with a laptop dock. I can now stop worrying about unwanted explosions due to battery overheat. Typing also kinda feels better when the keyboard's inclined (?).

A couple of downers: I will miss my team --- but they're just a few steps away from my workstation too, so that's not a biggie. I will miss the sun --- can only see walls from my new station. But it's not as if I have a special relationship with it. For someone who works at night, sun means sleep. So... no harm done. I'm still very thankful and happy.



One last rave. Do you see the overhead cabinet? I have space for books and what-have-you's! I have a mobile pedestal (under the desk) and an overhead cabinet. I'm in heaven!



Because I am deliriously thankful, I am making a promise. I will keep this work area clean and organized - as captured in this photo. All the cleaning that I'm unable to do for our own apartment, I will channel to this kickass personal space.

Whoooopppeeeyey!

If only we were ZEUS

Image is from http://dailyartstuffs.blogspot.com/2008/06/birth-of-athena.html


Busy busy days at work. With so many exciting things happening, the quintessential "good problem" to have is back. Man/Womanpower!

I need more trainers, Recruitment needs new hires. And so my forever fantasy is back. And I'm generous enough to let the Recruitment folks in on this...

Wish we were Zeus who can bear Athena (trainers and new hires) in our heads.

"According to legend, Athena sprang fully-grown and fully-armed from the head of her father, Zeus, ruler of the gods on Mount Olympus."
from http://www.arthistory.sbc.edu/imageswomen/papers/stebbinsathena/athena2.html

Happy birthday BVM!

Image is from http://www.turnbacktogod.com/virgin-mary-pictures-01/

Blessed Virgin Mary, please share with me your uncanny ability to show strength in silence. Teach me how to show conviction without the dramarama. You are who I want to become as a mother and wife. And I'm failing miserably. Visit me more often.

I still sing this in my head, well just the first two lines because I never memorized the rest. I was very young when we studied the song and the sweet nun didn't give us enough time to practice. And I auditioned and failed... so there's pain there. Damnit (sorry), I really wanted to be part of the choir.

Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae,

vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.

ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevae,

ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes

in hac lacrimarum valle.

Seriously though, the prayer makes more sense to me now.

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of Mercy,

our life, our sweetness and our hope.

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve;

to thee do we send up our sighs,

mourning and weeping in this valley of tears

Turn then, most gracious advocate,

thine eyes of mercy toward us;

and after this our exile,

show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

At 30, I Still Do...

There are days, oh so many days, when I feel that I don't belong here.

"Here" being... You know, earth, Philippines, corporate world, motherhood, wifehood, internet age, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, QWERTY phones.

It's been a 30-year learning curve. Everyday, every interaction, every decision continues to be a challenge. But hey, I'm still here.

"I have yet to figure out life."

Some people would frown at the statement. I don't. We are experiential beasts. If you can't figure out life, then you have figured out living. This oxygen-based existence is all about infinite attempts to make sense of perpetual randomness.

My two cents. Now let's sing.

Out Here On My Own

Irene Cara, Fame

Sometimes I wonder where I've been

Who I am

Do I fit in.

Make believin' is hard alone,

Out here on my own

We're always provin' who we are

Always reachin' for the risin' star

To guide me far

And shine me home

Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue

I close my eyes so I can be with you

Oh, baby, be strong for me

Baby, belong to me

Help me through

Help me need you

Until the morning sun appears

Making light of all my fears

I dry the tears

I've never shown

Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue

I close my eyes so I can be with you

Oh, baby, be strong for me

Baby, belong to me

Help me through

Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been

Who I am

Do I fit in

I may not win

But I can't be thrown

Out here on my own

On my own

Pussy Returns

My lesbian lover, Josie Pussy, comes home after a two-year India exile. :)

Bangalore will be sad. Davao will be noisier.

I still loved it when she lived two blocks away from home. But at least Davao is closer to Manila. And she can laugh, walk, curse, dress, live the way she wants to. She's too pretty to be in Bangalore's closet.


from my photo archives... sometime in 2008

Dear Diary

It's been ages since I wrote a movie review and I'm not about to write one for this.

This is a giggling entry.

Yesterday, I worked the morning shift because I had to attend two training sessions. In class, people started talking about "Zombadings" and I remembered the Hubby. He said, a couple of weeks ago, that he wanted to see this Indie film. I asked him out (haha!!!) and he said yes. After work, we walked from the office to Glorietta --- ouch for my feet (bad shoes) but heart was smiling all the way from RCBC plaza to the mall.


Glorietta, Cinema 6 | 09/05/11 8:15PM
Image is from http://pinoyindiefilmmovies.blogspot.com

In summary. Dinner was sizzling squid and rice. A funny little ticket mishap transpired at the ticket booth - his friend who purchased movie tickets for us handed over a train ticket (hubby didn't check). Eyes popped out when hubby showed the prepaid card to the lady at the entrance. Movie was so-so. On our way home, hubby was hungry again (love it!). Grabbed siopao from Kowloon. In the bedroom, we had siopao and three Friends' episodes.

Dating's fun.

If I ever get to work in the morning shift again, I'm so asking him out for drinks. There's a bar nearby (Carafe) and I haven't had frozen Margarita over the past three years. And Tequila Sunrise too.

May 24, 2008. My Margarita. His Kamikaze.
Last time we were in Carafe. Went home tipsy. Got pregnant after three months.

Kissing leads to biting!

Such a pretty sight. Daddy's Little Girl ends a kiss with a bite.


09/04/11 12:14PM, SM Centerpoint

"I am X weeks craving Y"

I am extremely pissed. I congratulated someone because she posted this in FB. I really thought she was pregnant. Then she said no and hinted that it's about something that some people want other people to know about.

Research revealed that it's another lousy meme: http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2392392,00.asp

Apparently, the same bunch of folks that thought of:

1) Post: "ABC"

Where "ABC" is a color

What it means: Color of your bra

2) Post: "I LIKE IT ON ____"

What it means: where you want to put your purse

And now

3) Post: "I'M X WEEKS AND CRAVING Y!"

where X = birth month

where Y = birth "day"

Month

January: 1 week

February: 2 weeks

March: 3 weeks

April: 4 weeks

May: 6 weeks

June: 8 weeks

July: 10 weeks

August: 12 weeks

September: 13 weeks

October: 14 weeks

November: 16 weeks

December: 18 weeks

Date

1: Skittles

2: Starburst

3: Kit-Kats

4: M&M's

5: Galaxy

6: Crunchies

7: Dairy Milk

8: Lollipops

9: Peanut Butter Cups

10: Meat Balls

11: Twizzlers

12: Bubble Gum

13: Hershey's Kisses

14: Chocolate Mints

15: Twix

16: Resse's Fastbreak

17: Fudge

18: Cherry Jello

19: Milky Way

20: Pickles

21: Creme Eggs

22: Skittles

23: Gummy Bears

24: Gummy Worms

25: Strawberry Pop Tarts

26: Starburst

27: Mini Eggs

28: Kit-Kat Chunkies

29: Double Chocolate Chip Crunchy Cookies

30: Smarties

31: Chocolate Cake

At 23, I found out that I may not be able to conceive the natural way. That was the saddest news I've ever received... Thank God for miracles.

So with much anger and pain, I stand by my FB post today

‎"I'm X weeks and craving Y!" is a meme. I am hurt by the lousy concept. Being pregnant is not a joke. Breast cancer awareness is not a joke. So cut it out!