Pauper, I Am

I realized how pathetic I am when I started salivating over a freakin tablet last year. I wanted it, and still want it, so bad but I don't have any money. We have funds, conjugal funds, but I don't have any personal funds at my disposal. It's too bad I entered a marriage without any money under my name.

Why? Because I all that I ever earned was spent on causes I used to feel strongly about. I wanted to send my sisters to school. I wanted a better life for my parents and siblings. I did not succeed in any of these life projects. But I can't stop caring too. One of these days/months/years... I will be called to serve again. And I have no other choice but to provide.

Boo-hoo!

Anyways, I seriously need to start saving. I have a few hundreds saved from walking. Yes, I save P60/day when I walk to/from the office. When I quit smoking, that's going to add up to the savings too. Hubby's right. He is always right when it comes to personal financial management.

Given a situation where I don't spend on anything, something that will never happen, I'll be able to save 60K per year. Not bad. But like I said, this will never happen. But beggars can't be choosy. So might as well try.

I'm writing this post to remind me how I was shaken by the sad realization that despite everything that I know about women empowerment, I failed miserably at financial independence. Terrible, terrible, feeling.