Afraid

Had another attack last night. Chest pains, difficulty breathing. I have no one to blame but me... all the years of smoking, working 16+ hours every day, working nights, not eating right, no exercise, all the nasty things one can do to her hot body.

I'm supposed get my lab results for ECG and breathing two weeks ago... I'm supposed to have started medication for fatty heart two weeks ago... I'm supposed to be good to my body. But my only motivation is to lose weight to wear all the pretty things that are currently not available in my size.

Well, I need to always remind myself that dead women tell no fabulous tales.

I need to take care of me.