146 Beats Per Minute

One of the most difficult phases of pregnancy for me is the two-week (not the other two-week wait when you're trying to find out if you are pregnant) wait for The precious heartbeat. And for this, I really have no one else to blame but my low to non-existent EQ. Atat kasi ako. In all my pregnancies, I'd find out, I'd tell the hubby, we'd go to the OB, we'd go in for the first ultrasound, we'd see no baby. Gestational sac pa lang kasi maaga pa. This will be followed by two weeks of anxiety for me. For this pregnancy, binalakubak ako towards the end of the two-week wait.

The thing is, you cannot unhear sad stories. I've heard other moms talk about blighted ovum, I've seen some of them up close, in tears. I've read, watched, listened to, one too many fertility journeys. I've lost a niece (or a nephew) to this cruel concept of false pregnancy. Some wounds are not personally yours, yet you bleed every single time you think about the wounded.

Wherever you are in your baby journey, I wish you all the best. I sincerely look forward to seeing you one day in mommy groups, being an annoying know-it-all and judgy mom to all of us who can't quit decaf while we're pregnant. I will not bite your head off, I promise I won't. Because I made a wish for us to be connected in this cool 'hood.

I wish you could send love and light my way too. For Opsling. Who now has a heartbeat. 💓